we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
