Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
