Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
