Dual....:-)
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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