I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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