Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
