i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
