u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
