I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
