I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
