I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
