im holly from the hills drunk
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
