Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
