woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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