why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
