If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
