i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
