Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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