I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize