Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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