its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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