we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
