Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
