my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
