i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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