she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
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Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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