I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
