New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
