I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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