apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
