I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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