haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
