Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i now understand why vodka
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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