One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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