How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
