...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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