is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
