i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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