I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I want her autograph on my taint
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
