I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize
