Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
