So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
