i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This show inspires me to have sex in space
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
