im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
