you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
