I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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