i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
