What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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