he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I forget how to act sober
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
