he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You took a bar mat shot.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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