My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
