ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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