Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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