I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize