some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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