to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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