Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
