you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
