how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
