So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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