This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im six kinds of drunk right now
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize