My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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