i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
