That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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