Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
