This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize